Poker: You Have Been Dismissed
Posted: November 24th, 2008 By: cracker man | Under: dismissed | Tags: douches, gambling, poker
You were once the thing of legends. Whether it’s an old haggard Texas cowboy types or a suave middle easterner, your high stakes, backroom games weren’t for the faint of heart. You had to be a special person to be a professional gambler.
Now, all you need is a computer and a lot of time. It started with the lipstick camera and suddenly it was easy and exciting to watch on TV. Then came the internet and now every schlub thinks they’re a poker-pro sitting in their mom’s basement at their computer well into the night. Everyone thinks they can play when they can’t, they all think they’re experts but they’re all just as bad as me.
You’re a whore, poker you let everyone and their god-damn mom (literally, my mom was playing poker and it made me want to vomit) into your felt covered vagina and all those douches can’t take away the stench, and for that, poker, you have been dismissed.
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I never learned how to play poker, and this has made all the difference.
This is so true. One time I stopped on ESPN when they were airing a poker match. All the guys were wearing sunglasses and taking it way to seriously.
The sad thing is they go home, go to work and go to school reunions thinking they are “the man” b/c they won some money in poker.
Its sad but I just realize that I know someone that makes his living by playing poker… sorry “worst guy”