Men’s Casual leather jackets had their hay day back in the 90’s. Men got laid in them at frat parties. Men baptized their baby’s at church sporting these bad ass fuckers . Shit, these rags were city issued at Hollywood industry get-togethers. Now, that time has come to an end. What are these guys holding onto? You need to take them off, and burn them. We don’t need them in thrift stores, we don’t need the homeless looking like their in line for a table at Chili’s.
These leather jackets are made for Men who love a big donut, and still think they have that “Edge.” Nothing like a bad ass in tan Dockers ripping a fart in his casual leather jacket while walking to the family car in the parking lot outside the Chucky Cheese. Sir, I have to be the one to tell you,
“On your 30 second break from the screaming kids and nagging wife, you’re not going to find some hot chick and fuck her behind your car, you’ll been seen by the Mexican lady who sells corn and tamales in the parking lot anyhow. Your days of being wild are over, stop clinging to your casual leather jacket.”
You were never Joey Ramone and you don’t resemble him one bit with your huge forehead and pleats in your pants. You can’t wear your casual leather jacket to the company Christmas party and fool people that your a real bad ass off the clock. You should just wear a sign that says, “I gave up, I bought this jacket at Costco” and tuck your Tommy Bahama shirt in. Your lack of style makes woman’s vagina’s dry up like the Sahara. If you a gay dude rocking the causal leather jacket, you need to rethink your layability because you’re not getting laid, and everyone can tell.
The Casual Leather Jacket, I have uncovered you for the lack of reality fart dream catcher that you are. You have been dismissed.
Here is a reminder of what a real bad ass leather jacket is. No dude, you can’t pull it off, so do not even try it.
Meat Hat, you’re also missing 3 critical flaws with the Casual Leather Jacket (CLJ):
1. They weigh a fucking TON. My inlaws were in town over the holidays, and I was the fool who had to put their jackets in the closet each time they came back from whatever they did. EACH JACKET WEIGHED ABOUT 15lbs! Why? Who needs that? They actually bent 2 hangers I put them on in the closet, so I had to go upstairs and get 2 nice wooden hangers for them that I use for my suits. Bullshit right there.
2. They last forever. See… people are lazy, if something wears out, they replace it. I have sneakers that once I think they look sloppy, they get replaced. A leather jacket has an indefinate lifespan. They’re only used for about 4-5 months a year, and then unless the home their stored in burns down or is in a flood, they’re used for the next CLJ season. And what are they made of? LEATHER! That ENSURES they’ll never be replaced. I can only hope that somewhere a team of scientists are working on a leather eating moth in a lab to destroy all of these…
3. They’re never going to be cool again once they are purchased. Playing into both points above, once you buy one, that’s it, the jacket will NEVER be cool again. It was cool for that ONE season that you purchased it in, but never again. Its always going to look like 1998 when you put it on, and because its leather, and you’re lame, its going to look like 1998 until 2015, when the big quake, locust attack, giant floods, laser beam mishap or arson destroys your house and everything in it, forcing you to buy a new leather jacket.
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