What the fucking hell is wrong with McDonalds?
There is almost nothing that could keep me away from a delicious chicken McNugget. Not the senseless change from Styrofoam container to crappy cardboard (do you idiots not know that Styrofoam makes EVERYTHING taste better?), not revealing whats actually in them, not changing the number of them I can purchase in a single small order. No, what finally pried my cold dead hands away from god’s bite sized treat is that McDonalds now insists on referring to them as “Nugg Nuts” or “Nuggs” for short.
Take a second now. This is hard to process. A multi billion dollar company that sells food (FOOD!) to people who eat food has decided to name one of thier beloved products something I wouldn’t even call my scrote because it would make me never want to touch it again. I don’t know much about branding but I do know that if you are re-branding an already popular, well loved product you don’t fucking give it the most disgusting name you can think of! Imagine what the meeting where the fucktards in McDonald’s marketing department came up with this bullshit must have been like:
Complete Idiot #1 ” Chicken McNuggets need a new name, they just aren’t ‘cool’ anymore”.
Complete Idiot #2 ” Yeah, they need a name that people can throw around on the street and like carve into the seat in front of them on buses”
Complete Idiot #3 ” How about urban surprise?”
Complete Idtiot #1 “No way, that’s too academic”
Complete Idiot #3 “what about just shortening it to ‘nuggets’
complete idiot #2 “I got it, ‘nugg nuts’. As in, ‘yo, gimme a 20 of those nugg nuts bitch’.
Everybody high 5s, I throw up in my mouth whenever I hear the phrase “nugg nuts”.
McDonalds, I don’t hate you the way other people do. I don’t blame you for making me fat, I don’t fault you for being so damn delicious. But get a goddamn clue. NuggNuts, you have been dismissed.
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