Will Smith, Jaden Smith & Jada Pinket Smith: You All Have Been Dismissed.

I’m sorry but I need you all to get straight out of my face. You all had me in the 90’s [see: A Different World, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 6 Degrees of Separation, and my favorite,  Set It Off], but now I shiver every-time I see any of you. Who took your soul? Who took your pride? Who took your talent? And where do you get off spawning the worst child actor ever? 

To be fair [its bad luck to hate on children], So I’ll lay off Jaden Smith, he’s young, he doesn’t know any better. His douche ass, type A power [allegedly] closeted parents are shoving him into the lime light with no actual skills. Jaden, you were awful in The Day the Earth Stood Still remake, so much so, I looked away and plugged my ears every-time you spoke. I could almost see you looking at your dad or mom, repeating the lines just as they said them to you. We can blame the Director this time, but for real you didn’t hack it. But its not too late, you look like a sassy kid with a brain, so why not become a layer, a doctor or something that will impact peoples lives for the better? You’re not cutting it as an actor, bow out with your pride. Don’t follow in your parents footsteps. For god sake don’t remake the Karate Kid, it won’t end well for you, I promise.  You are dismissed from acting, pull it together and make something of yourself in another field, like jr. high.

Will Smith, I know you get paid on flat bed trucks, I know you rub elbows with Tom Cruise, but you need to step back and get your head out of the clouds. Give Jazzy Jeff a call [or a pay check] and chill out. You used to have a spunk, a likable spunk about you. Now you have the glow of a shinny penny. You look good, but you’re worthless to me. You only do blockbuster snore films, your ego slaps everyone in the face, and its like you turned your back on the one thing that made you great. You’re witty personality. You almost turn it on now for the camera like Jim Carey, and Robin Williams, but we can hear you cry when you go home. You’re not a power animal, stop it. I believe you can act, now show me a real performance that doesn’t take attitude or CGI effects. You lost me at Independence day, the second you punched that Alien in the face and smoked a cigar, I knew you didn’t deserve the keys to the brand new porsche.

Jada, Jada, Jada I know you think you can sing metal.

That is your delusion of grandeur, you need someone close to you to just tell you NO!!!, Oh hell no sista, step away from Ozzfest. Your band Wicked Wisdom is by far the worst thing to happen to metal. Call Ice T sometime and ask him how its done, he got it right with Body Count. Watch this video below, I dare you to make it all the way through.

Jada, your persistence is enjoyable, I mean laughable, I’m hope you enjoyed, your time as a special rock goddess, but stop. You are a ball breaker and a power chick, now act in something good and stop putting your children in films.

The Family Smith, take your money, buy an island, supply it was man/ woman ASS, and go away, no one will judge you on your island. Send Jaden to Harvard, I think he’ll go far in life as something else. You all are dismissed.

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