Social Networking; You Have Been Dismissed.
Posted: December 18th, 2008 By: bacon dumpling | Under: dismissed
Nothing makes me fucking crazy like looking at everyone in the world creating an exciting virtual life filled with attractive people that I am not taking part in, and I’m a DOCTOR for shit’s sake! It’s the best way to make sure you wind up covered in chicken gravy, masturbating and crying in the bathtub shortly after a breakup at 4 am. Fuck it, I don’t need to have a page that boils my life down to media that I consume, and 500 people who agree with me just so that I can maybe fuck some dumb broad that thinks that the 80’s are awesome, cause she was born in the middle of them. Fuck you right to hell social networking.
You know who is behind the “social networking is cool” trend? Computer people. You know what else is dominated by computer people? COLLECTORS. Social Networking is nothing but geeks (not the lovable geeks of the 80’s movies, the new geeks wear those flaming dragon button up shirts and date rape your mom on Girls Gone Wild) who are FRIEND COLLECTORS. It used to be that the worst thing that could happen to you on a blind date was dodging some halitosis at the end of the night after a fine meal of Sizzlers, now you have to worry about WAKING UP FUCKING ENCASED IN PLASTIC so that you can be admired for all time, or until UV light makes your coloring fade a little.
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Meat mom is on face book, she wants to collect me and send me eggs that hatch into presents. I say no. Social Networking ends, when family is involved.
Just like an old pair of under pants, I’ve tossed you out like I did Friendster.