Leslie George Kistner the third, also known as “Vampire Lord” or “God”, wants to give you free oral sex. Unfortunately, some restrictions apply. Like, for instance, “You Must Be Clean”– Seriously? You think any woman that responds to an internet ad for free oral sex from some demented redneck pseudo-goth is not going to have the clap? And she has to smell good too? Also thank you for reminding me the benefits to having an orgasm.
But seriously, how many ladies want to road trip to Kentucky with me?
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