Leslie George Kistner III : You have been dismissed.

Posted: January 13th, 2009 By: dances with boners | Under: Things I Dated, dismissed

Leslie George Kistner the third, also known as “Vampire Lord” or “God”, wants to give you free oral sex. Unfortunately, some restrictions apply. Like, for instance, “You Must Be Clean”– Seriously? You think any woman that responds to an internet ad for free oral sex from some demented redneck pseudo-goth is not going to have the clap? And she has to smell good too? Also thank you for reminding me the benefits to having an orgasm.

But seriously, how many ladies want to road trip to Kentucky with me?

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Leslie George Kistner III : You have been dismissed.4.753

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5 Comments on “Leslie George Kistner III : You have been dismissed.”

  1. #1 meat hat said at 3:32 pm on January 13th, 2009:

    This is haunting. This can’t be for real.

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  2. #2 bacon dumpling said at 4:53 pm on January 13th, 2009:

    God damn.

    I didn’t realize the offer only stood for women.

    What a bummer.

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  3. #3 meat hat said at 5:09 pm on January 13th, 2009:

    Dude also looks like Kid Rock.

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  4. #4 MakeYourBananaCry said at 10:44 am on January 14th, 2009:

    imagine what his goatee will feel like between your thighs. priceless.

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  5. #5 Oedipus Red said at 5:53 pm on January 14th, 2009:

    Feeling giddy that I’m an unshowered, unattractive, unfaithful lady with genital warts and Herpes simplex. I’ll never be able to partake of said gentleman’s delightful service.

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