Tuna in Shared Spaces: You Have Been Dismissed.
Posted: January 16th, 2009 By: meat hat | Under: Rude, Something I Ate | Tags: bad manners, charlie tuna, chicken of the sea
You would think this would be a common rule, but people don’t seem to understand you can’ t eat tuna sandwiches or salads in a small space with other people!!!!! Tuna is to be enjoyed by single people alone in their sad apartment.
People eating this fishy relish garbage in my personal space has been happening to me a lot lately; I can’t stand the look, the taste or the smell of this horrible food product. I respect your taste pallet, but please enjoy it alone.
While in a meeting when I am supposed to be paying attention to business some asshole rips in with a tuna bowl and suddenly I’m whisked off to 8th grade eating bad pussy down in the storm drain behind church. Tuna is just not right. Even worse is tuna breath, in close proximity. I don’t care that you’re on a protein diet, I don’t want to yak while you speak to me.
Tuna consumption you have been dismissed. Its not you’re fault you smell like 90 year old rotten crotch, but please, take it outdoors.
UPDATE: Minutes after posting this, a woman came in my office with a bowl of tuna and sat close to me. I pretended to have to pee, and left the room. She left the bowl in my trash can. I only wish I had a fart on deck, which is odd I didn’t I’m always ready to rip.
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| 4 Comments »
YOU BEAT ME TO IT. This happens in my office once a week… not just tuna but some other funky fish permeates the air and I’m tempted to gag myself to counter the fish smell with the smell of my own vomit. Take that eaters of sea kittens.
Don’t forget cooked broccoli! My office smells like dirty farts every other day because somebody microwaved broccoli.
Also, fuck people who put the raw onions from their salad or sandwich or something in a shared office trash can…
Does this mean I can’t bang random broads in elevators anymore?
Bang away. Nothing wrong with that.