Future of Film: Will you have to be dismissed?
Posted: February 10th, 2009 By: meat hat | Under: Movies, dismissed | Tags: ass, bonnie and clyde remak, candy land movie, chipmunks movie, city of ember, disney, films, Fox, GE, hillary duff, idiocracy, monopoly movie, movie, newscorp, ouija movie, SOny, the never ending story remake, tom and jerry movie, Viacom, warner brothers
It has been a little over a hundred years since human kind has enjoyed motion pictures. This incredible industry that rose out of the innovation of motion cameras has captivated us in theaters, at home with the invention of the Television and now on our futuristic pocket phone devices. Films teach us about the world, they challenge our imaginations, our emotions and our intellect. So why are films so fucking shitty these days?
I have a fear, that fear is the film, “ASS”. This film is set to win the academy award in the year 2500. The film Ass is just that, its a Warhol type film of a mans ass for 90 mins, it farts, it poops and it pops zits in 4D aroma electric shock surround sound. (Idocracy)
As a concerned film goer, I am troubled by the trends of remakes, sequels and the insistence of making films no one wants to see but the film producers hold to the idea of character recognition to achieve opening weekend box office success. This recognition lately has brought us nothing but Hollywood landfill. Are we all out of ideas? Is the tight grip of corporations to blame for churning out of bile to make their stock holders happy?
I believe that our imaginations for new and creative ideas and stories is still strong, but the mega (GE, DISNEY, NEWS CORP, VIACOM & SONY) machines are limiting the access for these types of projects to get funding.
If it can be computer animated and its cute and can eat its own poo, then its green lit. (chipmunks)
If it has an original story no one has heard of, involves childlike imagination, huge sets and well known actors who believe in the material, it might get a green light, but then will forgotten at advertising time. (City of Ember)
At the current rate of the rape of childhoods spanning from 1975 to 1989 this cannibalization of culture is going to have a bad effect on future youth. This is already come to light with the blanket culture of hipsters, who don’t know where to stake their claim, so they claim all of it and mix it together. It really makes one messy orgy of hair, sex, toys and booze. If you grew up with Care Bears and He – Man, its in every one’s best interest that your children and their childrens children don’t grow up with them too. There is no room to grow new ideas, new icons or be free of generational identity. Even staples of culture like Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny have gone through a tremendous metamorphoses over the past decades, the mickey our parents enjoyed is nothing like that bastardization that exists today.
Batman and friends, Release date 2030
The films of our near future are Monopoly, Candy Land, Ouija, Tom and Jerry, Chipmunks Sqeekeul….this list goes on and on. Oh and they are remaking Bonnie and Clyde with Hillary Duff. VOMIT
I have a few riveting ideas when it comes to recognition theory for feature films. Here is my pitch.
Tylenol The film – Set in New Jersey one mother can’t stand her headaches. She takes Tylenol to curb her head rage when she can’t find her pills she murders her children.
Brawny Towel Man: Set in Portland a lovable ripped bearded logger man can’t get enough of the local waitress in town. Romantic comedy for all those who love log jammin’.
Aflac The Duck : Set on Martha’s vineyard the lovable able Aflec insurance duck gets into hair ball situations once Mr President arrives.
Trojan: This isn’t your dads old roman empire. (aroma theater treatment note: Car tires)
Snap, Crackle and Pop: The journey of the Krispie Brothers The film is set in a remote factory. This bold film will be the first gay incest three way in American cinema.
No doubt the Jesus freaks will want their cinema so we’ll be going back to the classics, there will be retelling of bible stories in space. Mega chrome Jesus will get his revenge in the summer of 2020.
Please don’t ruin the history of film with tie in franchised bullshit. Use your voices to advance not only the film techniques but also enhance the movie going experience with intellect in story telling. Its not all about happy meals and stocking suffers.
Loading ...Related posts:
- UFFIE: You have been dismissed, now clean up that spot on the couch. I watched this video and felt nothing. All I could...
I couldn’t agree with you more but is it wrong that I want to see this Brawny Towel Man movie you’re pitching? Anyway we can make him gay? I’d pay to see that. Ha ha.
There has to be a medium between “No. Make it stop” and “They are the best thing out there”. I choose to believe that the big-budget turds make enough money to bankroll better movies throughout the fiscal year. CHOOSE to believe. I am not an Industry Insider, don’t make fun of me. I go to, maybe, three movies a year. Exclusively at Magic Johnson theatres, FYI. It’s like a mu’fuckin’ circus in there, yo!
Very well said.
It will have to be dismissed. WB is remaking the Never Ending story now. Dismissed.
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=53283