Housewife whores and expensive ugly shoes, tubby dork manchildren and toys. Gross, gross, gross.
Thanks for fueling the dork fire, Kid Robot! You’re a part of the problem, and cheers! Your shit is lame, and it might be driving the nation’s over-aged and slightly overweight virgins into debt. I say “might” because I am not sure if today’s adult nerds are wealthy like gay guys are or not. Still collecting data on that. “Jury’s still out”, as they say. I mean, there is the faction of Living With My Parents dorks out there, but I think those dorks might be more into actual kid’s stuff. Stuff made with little kids in mind. Like Star Wars and video games and shit like that. I think there is a different, albeit equally nerdy, group who actually make money and spend it on more “mature” but equally useless shit like Kid Robot toys because they aren’t hip to cool adult shit. Like porno and overpriced vodka.
Regardless the debt issue here, you’re a waste of money Kid Robot. Adult nerds and geeks could be buying records or sleek furniture with that TOY money. Do you feel badly about this at all? Putting out your bright-colored toys, disguised as “art” (mass-produced figurines are not fucking ART) and fogging dorks’ heads up with “limited editions” and “autographed boxes”, further hindering their progress in becoming together-enough and fun adults interested in fun adult shit. Like late-night al pastor burritos and porno and fancy vodka. Suits and whatnot. Electric razors. Shit like that.
And your half-assed ”GRAFFITI is totally sweet” thing, Kid Robot? For shame! What a crumby way to make money, Kid Robot. I know there are other companies like you, but you’re the only name I can think of off the top of my head. I bet you’re proud of yourself for that, aren’t you. Well don’t be, motherfuckers! Like being the top-most point on a shit swirl. A giant swirled turd, I say!
“Adult Toys” is a term best (rightfully) reserved for prodding implements and other fun/slightly painful things for people getting l aid to use on each other. Not…fucking….The Simpsons miniatures in randomized anonymous boxes. Dork culture must be destroyed, I suggest we start with Kid Robot Corp. Who’s with me?
Adult toys not made for fucking with: you are dismissed. Nuuuuuuurrrrrds!
- Forced Quirkiness: You Have Been Dismissed. Can everybody stop pretending to be weird? Look, I wish...