Skinny People; You Have Been Dismissed

It’s 2008, and if Wall-E has taught us anything it is that fat is our future. In a last ditch effort to try and alter nature, some people, mostly concentrated in Los Angeles and New York City try their damdest to go against the grain and maintain the waif lifestyle. Read the rest of this entry »

Your Feelings; They Have Been Dismissed

Look, your feelings don’t mean shit. Read the rest of this entry »

Bob; You and Your Big Boy Have Been Dismissed

Bob, you and your “Big Boy” used to be American Icons. I remember eating your hamburgers when I was a kid, and I mean sure I was a kid so I liked anything sandwiched between two buns, but I remember your food being at least, well, food. Then the tough years came, and you guys went into hiding, but I found you you fat fuck. I found you out in the desert by Barstow recently. And I went inside and I sat down and I ordered the fried sampler platter. You know why?

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Able-Bodied People; You Have Been Dismissed

I’m getting Older, Fatter, and Slower every day. Due to a knee injury years ago (and by injury, I mean I went from a standing position to a walking position and my kneecap dislocated) I am developing quite a nice little limp. Sure I could have done my physical therapy, but I don’t see how that is my fault. 

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White Jesus; You Have Been Dismissed

White Jesus, you are dismissed

White Jesus, even before we elected our Nation’s first Black President, your honky ass was on the way out. Maybe it’s because all of your greatest supporters are from Florida, or maybe it’s because you spend your time following High School Football teams, listening to prayers about people getting rich or hoping they aren’t really pregnant when that son of a bitch Heath only put it in for a few seconds and maybe you are just late cause of stress, but really, it’s 2008 White Jesus, and time to face the facts.

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