UFFIE: You have been dismissed, now clean up that spot on the couch.

I watched this video and felt nothing. All I could think of was her leaking on the couch. Youth culture is only awesome when it spits in the face of the norm. This video just celebrates what they will all be doing in 15 years. Only then they will wish they had the memories of working at Hot Dog on a Stick, studying for math class and getting fingered the proper way in sunday school.

Plus, this video has Steve Aoki in it which is a boner killer.

Hollywood Undead: You have been dismissed.

I don’t even have the energy to give this a proper dismissal. I give up. We all are doomed.

Congresswomen Virginia Foxx: You are Dismissed.

Congresswomen Virginia Foxx called the sad killing of Mathew Shephard “a hoax”.

Woman, you are dismissed.

Motorcycle Helmet Mohawks: You have been dismissed.

Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? I see them all over the freeways these days. I really hope their militant indian guides. But I know sadly their just loveless zit assed asphalt chum. Dismissed.

Parents who bring their Babies to Coachella Music Festival: You Have Been Dismissed.

I never really had a chance. My parents raised me at Coachella music festival. .

This past weekend I spent my time in Indio in the Califronia desert for the 3 day annual Music Festival. Millions of people pour into the area, to let loose, get generally retarded and bake in the sun while watching the best of what music has to offer. This is no place for your baby. Babies don’t watch this, leave ‘em in the streets.

While most of these babies I saw were well under 1 year of age. Meaning, that possibly these babies were conceived at last years concert and the parents couldn’t wait to bring the baby back to the scene of the crime.  I’m going to make a few calls and see if next year they can have a child protective service woman at the gate for all these fools who bring their new born babies to this extremely un baby proof event. They need to take these babies away quick, they deserve better. With  my Jesus phone I was able to document some of this tragedy.

This baby was unattended and tried to cling to a sleeping stranger (at bottom of frame). With in ear shot of this new human was the Murder City Devils. The napping father could be seen slumped against a fence not really paying much attention to his baby.

This baby doesnt’ have a chance, they already have it in tiva sandals.  Baby legs, extra crispy.

This photo is a lot to take in. The father seen in the long skirt and the Milf wife seen bending down to push the baby back on the blanket. Both parents seemed well out of their minds while dancing to the Yeah, Yeah, Yeah’s.  It was hard to watch.

This mother and and baby had an bit of a fight at the bathroom station. The baby was heard giving a good argument about the state of her future and how she was uncertain her mother would be able to provide a sheltered enough existence for her to grow into a respectable young woman.

Please people, if you can afford tickets to Coachella, you can afford a baby sitter. Get your head on straight. Get your baby on, or you party on, you can’t do both at the same time.  Party people with babies, Congrats you pooped out a living being, now you are dismissed to go stay home and take care of it so it doesn’t rob me in the future. Thanks.

Breakfast Song: You have Been Dismissed.

This couple with their strong talent of voice sing a song about how we won’t need breakfast when Jesus comes back to earth. They even sing about how we won’t need Lipton Tea. While I really enjoy this woman’s clip on pony tail and counting how many teeth this man has, I’m upset that they made their song 5 mins long. I can’t help but chuckle that the drum set in the back says, “Darwin” on it.

By the looks of it, they’ve been eating lots of breakfast. Jesus ain’t coming, so eat up those Biscuits.

I’m sure you’ve stopped your lame music by now, but just encase: you have been dismissed.

Stupid People: Get with it, you have been dismissed.

The world can’t keep catering to the stupid people. It’s time to be smart.

Babies having Babies: You Are Dismissed.

Alfie the lovable playboy finally settles down at the old age of 13, he had a kid with a village Bicycle.

Seriously, teach kids your about the rubber, the pill, adoption and if need be the doctor baby grabber.

Charles Darwin: The Citizens of America (not me) have dismissed you.

I just shit my panties when I read that only 4 out of 10 American people believe in Evolution. Four? Only four? Shit christmas this is not the hell in a handbasket ride I was hoping for, this is like being stuck on Mr. Rodgers Trolly for 200 years with no exit station  in site.

According to Gullup Poll people either believe it,  disagree or have no idea who Darwin is or the theory to which he is attached. This explains the nations actions of late. Read the rest of this entry »

KROQ 106.7FM: Your Broadcast is old, You have been dismissed.

Let me start off this dismissal by stating I’m over the age of 30 and  I’ve grown up with KROQ for as long as I can remember, I know that its been shit for many many years, but its always been on my preset in my car stereo. However, this is a day to remember, I erased it, hopefully to never be heard from again. Read the rest of this entry »