Peta: You have been dismissed.

Peta listen up, sex isn’t saving animals. Objectifying women only worked for Princes’ career, it doesn’t save cows. Read the rest of this entry »

Suicide Girls: You Have Been Dismissed

How many photosets do people need to see depicting girls looking completely bored and as dazed as if they had been kicked in the head by a horse while taking a bath? Read the rest of this entry »

The Tramp Stamp: You Been Dismissed.

They are called many things around the world; Arse Antlers, Slag Tags and CA license plates, but they’ll always be the tramp stamp to me, a real road map to sadness. Read the rest of this entry »

Party Lesbians; You Have Been Dismissed.

Click here to watch Dr. Meat Hat explain party lesbians.

Definition: Straight girls who make out in male dominated party situations.

I do judge a “good/bad movie”  by the amount of Party Lesbians it boasts (see. Lost Boys Lost Tribe). But in the real time world Party Lesbians are so starved for male testosterone attention they’ll go at it at parties just to get the attention their families never gave them. They want the benefits of attention without all the real pain it really takes to be a actual homosexual.

Read the rest of this entry »

“The Dress”: You Have Been Dismissed

I want to repeatedly stab myself in the eyes every time I see a girl
wearing one of these. Read the rest of this entry »

CRYING DURING SEX: You Have Been DISMISSED

hurts so good

(note: this was originally titled “Small, Sad Pussy: you have been DISMISSED”)

I know you love me. You tell me all the fuckin’ time. I know, you know.

WE KNOW.

When I’m love/hate-fucking you to the ends of the Earth, something strange happens: you CRY. Read the rest of this entry »

Will Smith, Jaden Smith & Jada Pinket Smith: You All Have Been Dismissed.

I’m sorry but I need you all to get straight out of my face. You all had me in the 90’s [see: A Different World, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 6 Degrees of Separation, and my favorite,  Set It Off], but now I shiver every-time I see any of you. Who took your soul? Who took your pride? Who took your talent? And where do you get off spawning the worst child actor ever?  Read the rest of this entry »

Gym Douche: You have been dismissed

“Can I work in there?!”

gym douche

No! You’re dripping sweat through your weird microfiber super-hero style ‘workout gear’. You make really awful guttural groaning noises when you ‘rip on your delts’. And; EVERY OTHER MACHINE IS AVAILABLE!

Seriously, go drip somewhere else! Why do you want to use MY machine? Why do you want to get in MY ‘zone’?

As it is, you take up way too much of my visual landscape. I don’t know who is more distracted by your biceps, me, or your reflection. In either case you are clearly showcasing them for our enjoyment. Or so you think.

Here’s what we’re both thinking:

“Um, where’s his neck?”

“Ew. Veins.”

“Oooh, shit he makes ugly faces.”

“Is he really listening to ‘Snap’?”

Read the rest of this entry »

Brokencyde: Dismissed or Not Dismissed?

Watch this till the end, then read on.

I just learned of these mexi generational trend hounds called Borkencyde yesterday. While at first I must admit, I was ready to slap their presents immediately straight out of my face, but then, I was so entranced by how off the rails this was I had to investigate further, which of course confused me more.  Read the rest of this entry »

KFC Workers Fired For Bathing In Sink: You Have Been Dismissed…Again.

Listen up you Norther Californian KFC corn fed party lesbians. Who the fuck is you to think you can dip your pubescent pussy lips into the sink in a fast food restaurant? Read the rest of this entry »