Future of Film: Will you have to be dismissed?

Posted: February 10th, 2009 By: meat hat | Under: Movies, dismissed | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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It has been a little over a hundred years since human kind has enjoyed motion pictures. This incredible industry that rose out of the innovation of motion cameras has captivated us in theaters, at home with the invention of the Television and now on our futuristic pocket phone devices. Films teach us about the world, they challenge our imaginations, our emotions and our intellect. So why are films so fucking shitty these days? Read the rest of this entry »

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Upcoming JenAn Movie: You Have Been Dismissed

Posted: January 17th, 2009 By: Oedipus Red | Under: Celebrity, Entertainment, Movies, dismissed, people | Tags: , , , , ,

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There is much scat to be had upon this vile beast known as Aniston. Jolie is a separate subject, but at least her fucked up psychology includes knives, creepy child obsession, lesbianism, blood fetishes and maybe even kissing her hot brother.  I can respect that.  But Jen An – you are dismissed.

 

I had to endure…nay…be tortured….with Aniston’s yet to be released creative wasteland entitled ‘Management’ . This was supposed to be a treat to us, as we were offered the entertainment value before the general public was allowed to view this gloriously empty and implausible landslide of a film.

 

Woody Harrelson couldn’t even save it, playing the evil punk rock boyfriend (of course! anyone friends with Joe Strummer is an asshole!!!  Well, at least in Rupert Murdoch’s opinion).  And yes, like any good old-school punk rock guy, he wants to marry a hot, mainstream, corporate, worked-out hottie chick who is extremely cold to him. Ah, punk rock guys…you truly all succumb to those girls that rejected you in high school and it’s a farce, ain’t it boys?

  Read the rest of this entry »

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Will Smith, Jaden Smith & Jada Pinket Smith: You All Have Been Dismissed.

Posted: December 15th, 2008 By: meat hat | Under: Bad Girls, Celebrity, Movies, dismissed, people | Tags: , , , ,


I’m sorry but I need you all to get straight out of my face. You all had me in the 90’s [see: A Different World, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 6 Degrees of Separation, and my favorite,  Set It Off], but now I shiver every-time I see any of you. Who took your soul? Who took your pride? Who took your talent? And where do you get off spawning the worst child actor ever?  Read the rest of this entry »

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Perez Hilton: Dismissed.

Posted: December 12th, 2008 By: 90069me | Under: Celebrity, Movies, dismissed, people | Tags: , , , , , , ,

I hesitate writing this Dismissal because you celebrate being hated – which makes me feel kinda sorry for you.  All that inner fatgirl self-hatred and shame you have deep inside…you can just tuck it away and tag your site “Hollywood’s Most-Hated Web Site”.  But can we be honest with each other for a sec, boo?

Read the rest of this entry »

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Ellen Page: You Have Been Dismissed

Posted: November 25th, 2008 By: Yogurt Donor | Under: Movies, dismissed | Tags: , , ,

UGH.

OK we get it.  You’re good at playing a pretentious, smart ass, snob….or a precocious teen.  It’s sickening.  Enough already.

Stop being so cunty all the time. 

Lighten up.

Dismissed.

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DISNEY MOVIES: You Have Been Dismissed.

Posted: November 21st, 2008 By: Jesus Is My Middle Name | Under: Movies | Tags: , , , , ,

I know a lot of you will read this and look at me and leave me comments saying, What the Fuck? …well to start off this dismissal, I am going to counteract your question with my own What The Fuck: Wall-E? Read the rest of this entry »

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M. Night Shyamalan; You Have Been Dismissed

Posted: November 16th, 2008 By: Womb Raider | Under: Movies, dismissed, people | Tags: , , , , , ,

Your name should be M. Night ShameOnYou. You are to film making what David Blaine is to magic. And you both must have the same mother management. Someone has to be telling you that you are awesome, and encouraging you to keep doing what your doing. And you are clearly drunk on your own kool-aid. Read the rest of this entry »

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