KROQ 106.7FM: Your Broadcast is old, You have been dismissed.

Let me start off this dismissal by stating I’m over the age of 30 and  I’ve grown up with KROQ for as long as I can remember, I know that its been shit for many many years, but its always been on my preset in my car stereo. However, this is a day to remember, I erased it, hopefully to never be heard from again. Read the rest of this entry »

FAR: You Have Been Dismissed.

FAR what the fuck? While doing research for dismissing KROQ 106.7 FM (coming soon) I’ve heard this song that I swear sounds like Nickelback  singing about being horny and riding on his pony. (listen here)

The song makes me want to crash my car, find the singer and make him pay for it.  Each time the song was over, they play it non stop,  they kept saying. “that was Far.”  I kept thinking, who took over Far’s name, and then tainted the airwaves with this shit? Then I prayed it was a band called Farm, just like always, my prayers were unanswered. Read the rest of this entry »

stuffed animals in cars: you have been dismissed

I see you, 45-year-old man driving by yourself in your mother (who you live with)’s borrowed car to go lurk on twelve year olds at the batting cages. It is totally depressing that the only form of self-expression you are capable of is to leave your faded-ass Garfield or Hello Kitty stuffed animals in the window of your car. SO MANY of them, too. Read the rest of this entry »

Christian Entertainers; you have been dismissed

It takes talent to entertain people. Talent should not to be mistaken with ability or skill, which, like singing or playing piano can be learned. Real talent comes from being exceptionally good at something. Not marginally, or even modestly so.

The fear of being bad is what makes people good. You sad sacks should know that better than anyone. Read the rest of this entry »

Sublime: You Have Been Dismissed.

Look Sublime; you made a few albums, congratulations. Now go the fuck away. Read the rest of this entry »

Brokencyde: Dismissed or Not Dismissed?

Watch this till the end, then read on.

I just learned of these mexi generational trend hounds called Borkencyde yesterday. While at first I must admit, I was ready to slap their presents immediately straight out of my face, but then, I was so entranced by how off the rails this was I had to investigate further, which of course confused me more.  Read the rest of this entry »

Chris Dane Owens: Question, Dismissed or not Dismissed?

Watch first in its entirety, then I’ll discuss.

Best if viewed in high quality quicktime

I’m really struggling with this new singer dude Chris Dane Owens. I’ve never heard of him before, I just watched his video, I have to admit I was really entertained, not because it was good, but because I wondered when the hard core porn was going to start. Read the rest of this entry »

Britney Spears: You Have Been Dismissed

I hate Britney Spears.  I don’t care that it’s her birthday week and I don’t care that she’s “getting it together” now for a come back.  The bitch cannot sing.  Period.  She is a product of the record label marketing machines who’s only job is to crank out skank whores like Britney until they’re spent.  And this bitch has lasted WAY too long.  “Hit me baby one more time…?”  How about I hit you ten more times.

She’s nothing more than a former Mouseketeer from Kentwood, Louisiana with frighteningly wide set eyes, fake tits, fake ass, fake nose, calf implants….do I need to go on?  Let’s talk about the voice.  WTF?  Jesus Christ, she sucks.  It’s like a cross between helium, The Chipmunks, and a queef.  A really stanky queef.

Read the rest of this entry »

Lady GaGa: You Have Been Dismissed.

Lady GaGa, I just don’t get you, you make no sense to me, I can’t even
pretend you do. I’ve heard others rave about you so I’ve tuned in to see
what all the buzz is about. When I first laid eyes on you I was convinced
you were a Tranny Hooker who got her lucky break while working a taco
stand in Hollywood. Read the rest of this entry »

Double Albums: You Have Been Dismissed.

First of all, how many bands make ONE album worth of great material? An album where every song belongs? It does happen, but it is obviously extremely rare. So I find it very dickey when bands, in the name of being artists, decide that instead of giving their fans 3 good songs out of 15, why not give them 6 good songs out of 30? Read the rest of this entry »