I know you don’t have a theme song as catchy as Subways, and your fucked up little hamster abortions are long gone, but your Million Sub giveaway isn’t going to help you win over new customers.
The other weekend, I had the sheer displeasure of heading over to ROMANO’S MACARONI GRILL for my Uncle’s Birthday. Now I love my Uncle and would walk to the end of the Olive Garden or even Bucca Di Bepo for him. I’m just saying, that one step through Romano’s door and I knew that my order would consist of a singular Iced Tea (hold the lemon please) with a later stop at the Taco Truck – Taco Zone. Two hours later, I emerged from the faux stone building where we left a Crayon covered Paper Table, and my mind.
Oh Macaroni Grill HELL…What has ‘Merica come to?!
I used to want to live in you, then I got to know you.
You give the illusion of being the cool part of town – kinda indie, kinda gay, kinda artsy, kinda bohemian… but you’re really just a slacker neighborhood in search of a soul with overpriced, rundown shacks being passed off as quaint fixer uppers for spoiled elitists. Read the rest of this entry »
Oh Daytona Beach Florida, with your hard packed beach sand and drunk under age beauties, what is it about your city that just instantly makes me gag? Read the rest of this entry »
Neverland Ranch we all wanted to believe in your smoke and mirrors. We all wanted to believe in your innocence and sincerity. When you were bought by the King of Pop in 1988 your 2,800 acres were built into a glorious amusement park, zoo and fantasy land. We all wanted to go. You made us believe in you. You made MIchael Jackson happy and that made us happy. You let thousands of children through your gates to entertain them and keep them smiling.