City Fixed-Gear Riders: You Have Been Dismissed

I know this is probably redundant, because dismissing you is so obvious it hurts, but OH, for the love of GOD, you fixed gear bicycle riders in the city. You’re so tough…defiantly helmet-free, death wish in your pocket, NO FEAR. Playing chicken with cab drivers, flipping off anyone and everyone who dares get in your way, sneering through your Ray-Bans at the pathetic city bike with the handbrakes (psshhh, so ’98) stopping next to you at the signal (when you can be bothered to obey traffic signals, that is). Read the rest of this entry »

Charles Darwin: The Citizens of America (not me) have dismissed you.

I just shit my panties when I read that only 4 out of 10 American people believe in Evolution. Four? Only four? Shit christmas this is not the hell in a handbasket ride I was hoping for, this is like being stuck on Mr. Rodgers Trolly for 200 years with no exit station  in site.

According to Gullup Poll people either believe it,  disagree or have no idea who Darwin is or the theory to which he is attached. This explains the nations actions of late. Read the rest of this entry »

Company “Restructuring”: You Have Been Dismissed

and by the way, you're fired

Thank you, Mr. Executive Suit Guy who gets paid way too much to dictate the lives of all the little people under you, for saving the Company so much money today with your brilliant “Restructuring” plan. Read the rest of this entry »

Peta: You have been dismissed.

Peta listen up, sex isn’t saving animals. Objectifying women only worked for Princes’ career, it doesn’t save cows. Read the rest of this entry »

2008: You Have Been Dismissed. [Get To Know The Writers] A MUST READ!

2008 is full of dismissible Things and events, let the group of dismissed writers break it down for you. Read the rest of this entry »

Shepard Fairey: You Have Been Dismissed.

Take a look at this video. See Shepard Fairey there, sneeringly yammering on about how punk rock he is? Now tell me you honestly don’t want to punch him in the face. I realize he’s an easy target, given what a grandiosely pompous douchebag he is. But I’m just so rebellious and independent I can’t resist. Read the rest of this entry »

2012: You Have Been Dismissed.

First of all. Lets all calm the fuck down. Chicken little called and told me the sky isn’t falling. But he’s not taking any chances and is fucking every thing in sight. Read the rest of this entry »

New Low Gas Prices: You Have Been Dismissed.

Dropping gas prices may seem exciting for our short term needs. Saving money on commuting and possible weekend’s trip to other states to eat pizza may seem like a blessing, but its actually a struggling junkies curse. Read the rest of this entry »