Charles Darwin: The Citizens of America (not me) have dismissed you.

I just shit my panties when I read that only 4 out of 10 American people believe in Evolution. Four? Only four? Shit christmas this is not the hell in a handbasket ride I was hoping for, this is like being stuck on Mr. Rodgers Trolly for 200 years with no exit station  in site.

According to Gullup Poll people either believe it,  disagree or have no idea who Darwin is or the theory to which he is attached. This explains the nations actions of late. Read the rest of this entry »

Family E-Mail list: You have been Dismissed.

Photo is Hudson River Landing. Aka: Bullshit Sacto Bee Cartoon.

I shit you not, I got this from my Father Meat Hat in a family email. It upset me so much I almost started drawing god hands in horrible photos from the Iraq war. I thought about Jesus hands clapping at the Tsunami and a nice pad on the back to Ex President W. Bush.   Why do families send email? Isn’t it enough we have to see each other at X-mas and funerals? Enough with cute family email, take me off your list, you are dismissed.

Christian Entertainers; you have been dismissed

It takes talent to entertain people. Talent should not to be mistaken with ability or skill, which, like singing or playing piano can be learned. Real talent comes from being exceptionally good at something. Not marginally, or even modestly so.

The fear of being bad is what makes people good. You sad sacks should know that better than anyone. Read the rest of this entry »

Lucky & Superstitions: You Have Been Dismissed!

Superstition or superstitio is a Latin word for: Get a clue already asshole. Read the rest of this entry »

CRYING DURING SEX: You Have Been DISMISSED

hurts so good

(note: this was originally titled “Small, Sad Pussy: you have been DISMISSED”)

I know you love me. You tell me all the fuckin’ time. I know, you know.

WE KNOW.

When I’m love/hate-fucking you to the ends of the Earth, something strange happens: you CRY. Read the rest of this entry »

2012: You Have Been Dismissed.

First of all. Lets all calm the fuck down. Chicken little called and told me the sky isn’t falling. But he’s not taking any chances and is fucking every thing in sight. Read the rest of this entry »

Pope Moblie: You have been Dismissed.

The Popemobile is an informal name for the specially designed motor vehical used by the Pope during outdoor public appearances.

I have a question, where is the toilet paper roll dispenser? Read the rest of this entry »

Religious Freaks: You have been Dismissed.

Meat Hat:

So you love God, Jesus, The Holy Ghost,  L. Ron, Joseph Smith, the spaghetti monster, Muhammad, Buddah, (insert Hindu god here), thats great, you can all agree on loving something completely out of grasp. That is your glorious right as a human, you get to believe whatever you like. But when people choose not to believe in something celestrial the religious community’s holy boxing gloves come off to battle the non believers. Read the rest of this entry »

Intelligent Design; You Have Been Dismissed

Look, just because you don’t know the answer to something doesn’t mean you get to just make shit up. Read the rest of this entry »

Dr. James Dobson: You Have Been Dismissed.

Meat Hat:

When I was young I had to listen to Dr. James Dobson in my moms white broke ass Toyota Corolla. No air conditioning, no flat panel TV screens or game boys/ psp to escape to. Being  a kid in the 80’s was tough, but listening to Dr. James Dobson was always a low point in the car rides, the high point was getting to listen to Neil Diamond. Read the rest of this entry »