Women Who Swear They’re Off Their Period. Seriously, C’mon. Dismissed.

Just be a little more responsible…and honest.  That’s all I’m asking.  I don’t like pulling out of your meat curtains and seeing that my baby arm has turned red.  You know when your period is over,  let’s not play dumb anymore.  Okay?  Thanks a lot.

Leslie George Kistner III : You have been dismissed.

Leslie George Kistner the third, also known as “Vampire Lord” or “God”, wants to give you free oral sex. Read the rest of this entry »

Party Lesbians; You Have Been Dismissed.

Click here to watch Dr. Meat Hat explain party lesbians.

Definition: Straight girls who make out in male dominated party situations.

I do judge a “good/bad movie”  by the amount of Party Lesbians it boasts (see. Lost Boys Lost Tribe). But in the real time world Party Lesbians are so starved for male testosterone attention they’ll go at it at parties just to get the attention their families never gave them. They want the benefits of attention without all the real pain it really takes to be a actual homosexual.

Read the rest of this entry »

CRYING DURING SEX: You Have Been DISMISSED

hurts so good

(note: this was originally titled “Small, Sad Pussy: you have been DISMISSED”)

I know you love me. You tell me all the fuckin’ time. I know, you know.

WE KNOW.

When I’m love/hate-fucking you to the ends of the Earth, something strange happens: you CRY. Read the rest of this entry »

Le Trung: You have been dismissed.

Inventor Le Trung, 33, created Aiko, said to be “in her 20s” with a stunning 32, 23, 33 figure, shiny hair and delicate features. Pfft, she’s not a day over 14 you sick bastard. Read the rest of this entry »

Brokencyde: Dismissed or Not Dismissed?

Watch this till the end, then read on.

I just learned of these mexi generational trend hounds called Borkencyde yesterday. While at first I must admit, I was ready to slap their presents immediately straight out of my face, but then, I was so entranced by how off the rails this was I had to investigate further, which of course confused me more.  Read the rest of this entry »

Silverlake: You Have Been Dismissed

I used to want to live in you, then I got to know you.

You give the illusion of being the cool part of town – kinda indie, kinda gay, kinda artsy, kinda bohemian… but you’re really just a slacker neighborhood in search of a soul with overpriced, rundown shacks being passed off as quaint fixer uppers for spoiled elitists. Read the rest of this entry »

Trojan Brand Condoms: You Have Been Dismissed.

Question. Does anyone over 16 actually use Trojan’s anymore?  Worst. Condom. Ever.

How come they are the only condom manufacturer that has seemingly embraced the smell of rubber? Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone I Have Ever Dated; You Have Been Dismissed

Ok buddies, I know its not your fault that I have poor judgement. I really do. But help me out here…

Read the rest of this entry »

Your Feelings; They Have Been Dismissed

Look, your feelings don’t mean shit. Read the rest of this entry »