Photo is Hudson River Landing. Aka: Bullshit Sacto Bee Cartoon.

I shit you not, I got this from my Father Meat Hat in a family email. It upset me so much I almost started drawing god hands in horrible photos from the Iraq war. I thought about Jesus hands clapping at the Tsunami and a nice pad on the back to Ex President W. Bush.   Why do families send email? Isn’t it enough we have to see each other at X-mas and funerals? Enough with cute family email, take me off your list, you are dismissed.

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Look, just because you don’t know the answer to something doesn’t mean you get to just make shit up. My floor was dusty this morning, but I didn’t go and seek funding to tell people about the physical manifestation of sin that blankets my apartment in the form of dust each night after my nightly self gratifying “sessions”. I didn’t even go the other way and try and raise awareness about the gazoomaboofs, small troll-like creatures with vacuum cleaner snouts instead of noses who wait until I am asleep every night and clean up all the dust on my floor before I awake, but who have apparently now gone on strike for higher wages, more twinkies, and mandatory slave-leia posters in the breakroom. You know why I didn’t do those things?

Oh yeah because they are ridiculous suggestions, but no more so than believing in god, and that “he” invented the universe, with billions of planets, stars, large expanses of chemically reacting gasses, just so that he could put life on one (or maybe a few) planet, where he would develop complex ecosystems involving microscopic organisms all the way up to large terrestrial creatures, and everything inbetween that are all interconnected, many of which have no (direct) effect on the human beings who also live on this planet, and to whom the entire universe owes its credit, because the entire point of the universe is for god to hide himself from us, and wait and see if we believe in him. Then when we die he jumps out from behind the gates of heaven and says “Tah-dah!”

Look, you should be fucking ashamed and embarassed to even admit that you beieve in fairy tales like this, but then to try and challenge the discipline of science, that must follow rigorous standards and methodology, that your delusions are somehow “equal” to what has been able to, if not “proven”, to be at least be highly probable, really instead of people giving you funding they should have thrown you in a hole somewhere. You know why people believe in god? Because people a long time ago believed in god. Think about some other wisdoms from the ancient world that we rely on today. On yeah, we don’t because we have largely realized that people thousands of years ago were borderline retarded.

So please, keep your conspiracy theories about intelligent design down in your creepy southern basement where they belong, and maybe, I dunno, fucking educate yourself?

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