Really? Truck Nuts? Why was this ever made? Who the fuck does this? Oh, yeah that’s right I know exactly who you are…

You the guy who:

• Owns a spittoon.
• Your favorite color is shiny.
• Your jealous your dog can lick is own balls.
• You would rather watch Cops then Seinfeld.
• Your proud to live in Ohio (also see Florida, also see West Virginia).
• You have everything with Flames on it.
• You use the term “get er done“
• And you actually care/follow NASCAR.

I guess what I’m trying to say is; owning truck nuts is the least of your problems. I can just see it now. You just graduated from Universal Technical Institute, your hanging with “your boys”, tossing back some Old Milwaukee when you say to yourself. “I know how I’m going to show the world I’m a REAL man. I’m going to hang a huge pair of blue veined testicles from my truck bumper” (also see Peterbilt, also see John Deere riding mower).

But seriously… balls on anything are gross and the last thing anyone needs in their face is a huge pair swaying on the truck in front of them. I’m also going to go out on a limb guessing that somewhere, someone in a basement in Pigeon Forge, Tn is creating a vagina for the ladies to mount to the bumper only to have it flap as they drive on the interstate…I can only hope.

Truck Nuts your brash lifestyle is long over due for a vasectomy…you are dismissed.

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