Lady GaGa, I just don’t get you, you make no sense to me, I can’t even
pretend you do. I’ve heard others rave about you so I’ve tuned in to see
what all the buzz is about. When I first laid eyes on you I was convinced
you were a Tranny Hooker who got her lucky break while working a taco
stand in Hollywood. But then I came to find out your actually a woman.
What’s the deal? You dress like a bad art installation and you sing like a bad pop
star. A lightening bolt on the side of your face? Pretty clever if your
Ziggy Stardust and it’s 1973. You’re Douche Blah Blah and it’s 2008. This is not
acceptable.

Your face is devoid of emotion as if you have no soul. What possesses your
insides to make you devoid of any human emotion? Who will save your soul?
Jewel’s too busy trying to save her own so I guess there’s no hope for you.

Why do peeps think your dated call to ‘Just Dance’ while swiveling with your
robot dancers equals the next great dance diva? What sort of Gay Jonestown
Kool-Aid are you giving people? I’m tired of asking these questions.

Further reasons as to why you are dismissed…
1. Your name is derived from the Queen song ‘Radio GaGa.’ Apparently in
reference to you being as dramatic as Freddie Mercury. Please, Freddie
Mercury’s mustache had more personality and drama than your washed up techno douche review.
2. Your real name is Joanne Stefani Germanotta. You’ve been pretentious since birth apparently.
3. You were originally signed and dumped by Def Jam after 3 months.
4. You opened for New Kids On The Block reunion tour as well as singing on
their album.
5. Your DJ/Producers name is Space Cowboy (Someone needs to dismiss DJ
names).

Lady GaGa aka Joanne Stefani Germanotta, you are Dismissed! Now just fucking
go away okay.

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