Party Lesbians; You Have Been Dismissed.

Click here to watch Dr. Meat Hat explain party lesbians.

Definition: Straight girls who make out in male dominated party situations.

I do judge a “good/bad movie”  by the amount of Party Lesbians it boasts (see. Lost Boys Lost Tribe). But in the real time world Party Lesbians are so starved for male testosterone attention they’ll go at it at parties just to get the attention their families never gave them. They want the benefits of attention without all the real pain it really takes to be a actual homosexual.

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BMWs: You Have Been Dismissed

Whenever I’m driving and I see a BMW – any model, no matter where I am – I try to give it a wide berth because I know the driver is about to do something stupid. How do I know this? Because they’re driving a BMW. What I really should do is quickly pull my car over the side of the road, close my eyes, put my head on my steering wheel and then count slowly to thirty, only opening my eyes and beginning to drive again when I’m sure they’re gone; that’s the only way to really be safe.

Yes, I hate BMW as a company, and not just because they partially funded Hitler’s attempted extermination of the Jewish people back in the day, because hey, who didn’t? No, I hate them because of the people who drive their cars. Two douchebags racing each other down Los Feliz Boulevard at 3:30 in the morning blasting techno dance remixes of already completely lame pop songs? Sure to be driving BMWs. Some idiot impotently honking at the car in front of them and revving their engine in the middle of a traffic jam? Undoubtedly a BMW driver. The fool at the cheap automated car wash taking up a stall while he painstaking details his hubcaps with a toothbrush? Now that’s a BMW connoisseur.

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