You’re dismissed. I’m dismissed? I don’t know. Somebody save television, please.

While the rest of you credit card-livin’ jerkoffs are TiVo-ing John Stewart, the rest of us are left with “16 And Pregnant”.
“Everythang’s gunn’ Be puurfec’. I’hope!” sez the fat and superduper lazy fucking bitch living in “meemaw’s” house with her Weston and Wes, Jr.
Dear god in heaven alive, where in the hell are we going? I should have thrown my t.v. out of the window months and months ago, but I “cain’t hepp” but wonder if TiVo is sucking the life out of filler-time t.v. programming. Where networks would try, now they just fill with cheap and easy. And here I am feeling like the world is headed for flames. More than usual. HEPP!!?!

“I diin’t thank thet I wuz thuh tiipe tah git prenant at uh yung age, but now ah’m jest thankin’ how I’d make it without Westin’”. Napalm.